Sour Patch Twinks
2015. Gay life Network, Lollipop Twinks
Directed by Afton Nills
Starring: Tanner Shane, Preston Andrews, Dylan Chambers, Josh Bensan,
Etienne Kidd, Robbie Anthony, Seth Corrigan,
Anthony Evans, Connor Bradley, Evan James
Twinks” is this month’s featured twink video! Released by Lollipop
Twinks studios, this is a five-scene, 96-minute
excursion into a potentially diabetic-dick bliss. If you meet someone
offline who refers to his “Sour Patch,” my advice would
be to get the fuck out of there. The beginning and final scenes employ
oversized lollipops and a money shot onto the candy.
Also, this is the strange lollipop that resembles something at a candy
shop in Lake Geneva that was named “Ye Olde Candy
Shoppe,” and how many hot gay teens have you ever seen with a lollipop
just hanging out?
This Montreal-based porn includes
everyone’s favorite just-out-of-high-school-bottom Conner Bradley
getting off Evan
James while fucking on the kitchen floor: You know the dirtiest part of
the house? The reason I typically do not fuck on
hardwood floors is because it is painful.
Now my second favorite thespian in “Sour
Patch Twinks” is a top (don’t worry; I think they drew straws and he
Tanner Shane. He gets to nail a big-dicked bottom Dylan Chambers on
what looks like mom’s JC Penneys’ daybed. We all
know she will be pissed if you fuck up the upholstery.
The very biggest cock award goes to
Preston Andrews! It looks like he was forced to wear a ball cap that
1930s kaleidoscope of colors with a pinwheel on the top. Not sure why
some people want that? Congratulations, Preston, on
laying down serious dick in Josh Bensan who looks like a younger,
hotter Frodo from “Lord of the Rings” (i.e. Elijah Wood
but taller, younger and more naked). He shot a huge load onto a very
large lollipop and closed off the video with one final
question: Who has to eat that?
Canadians are not known for diversity,
but there is one black guy, Robbie Anthony, getting versatile with
but, outside of this blip on the radar, all the scenes are one top and
one bottom. All the thespians are white, under 140 lbs. and
totally fuckable with the lights on, plus no body/facial hair.
The nominations are out and “Sour Patch
Twinks” is not up for best movie 2016 and, thankfully, the acting is
kept to a minimum
while the porking at maximum. No corny music in this one and there is a
cameraman who isn’t distracting. The scenes’ lighting
can flush out some of the actors at points and the video is not full
1080i, so just jack off quickly and do in small doses.
Along with the five vanilla sex scenes (and vanilla is everyone’s
favorite flavor) are included trailers (single wide) and interviews.
Note to the person asking questions: Don’t ask questions that make them
use their brain. Have them dance or imitate their
favorite animal. Keep it simple and cute.
This summer, look for the sequel, “Gummy Worm Twinks.”